To Follow Blindly is Without Faith

I was at the dreaded mall yesterday.  I hate the mall.  Maybe because I hate people forcing me to buy the latest and greatest (I have a cell phone already! Leave me alone!).  Maybe because everything is always too expensive.  Maybe it's because I meet people like the woman in the store yesterday who inspired this post.  I was in a trendy store filled with coral and turquoise, bangle jewelry, the hippest jeans, etc.  She had eyed a pair of (trendy, or course) ivory lace shorts.  Then she said this gem of a statement, "I love them! Can I call President Monson so I can tell him how cute these are?! The ones in the bermuda length would be so ugly but these are so cute!"  Fast forward the few hours it took me to grasp that an LDS woman had just said that.  I'm not saying I place myself above her because honestly, I could easily see my younger self saying something similar.  But it made me think of the way we follow the Prophet.  Do we merely take his advice because we know we should or do we seek to understand why he may be giving us these commandments?  I think it is so important for us to listen to the Prophet, heed his advice, and seek to understand all he tells us.  When we merely follow someone because we know we should we become lifeless and thoughtless robots.  Be believing and full of faith and ponder why the Prophet has given us that particular commandment.  If we try to understand why he has given it, we can follow with not only faith but with a purpose to become better disciples.      

Fighting is inevitable

My husband and I are at a great point in our marriage.  I will always strive to keep it this way but it wasn’t always fulfilling.  I came from a good family with some intense structure.  My husband came from a good family where he was the male figure in the home for most of his life.  Both of our parents fought and both of us feared our parent’s eventual separation.  Both couples are still together.  But as I see my friends’ marriages crumble one by one I wonder what plague our generation has succumb to? 

Take a step back with me to the earlier days of my marriage: I’m sitting in the bed of our truck under the carport holding a blanket and planning on staying out there all night.  My husband is inside wondering how far I could have made it walking in any direction. The fight that led up to this had been a definite mole hill turned into a mountain of epic elevation.  He had quoted someone who made a general comment years earlier about snowboarders.  I. Blew. Up.  Back and forth yelling.  Crying. Hope of escape.

At this point we had been married for a few months, obvious newlyweds with our lives ahead of us.  We didn’t understand each other, our new roles, or ourselves.  We weren’t ready for this big step called marriage but honestly, is anyone?  Is anyone conscious of the way they will react to a mixing of such different backgrounds?  How would I know that a simple statement could send me into a world of my own suppressed emotions?  You don’t know those things until they happen. 

So what then?  What about when those eventual comments come?  Do we hide? Do we suppress those new feelings? No.  We explore those feelings, dig into their roots, and expose them in true light.  Only then can you see a new perspective of how those feelings may be irrational.   

Marriage will never be like those earlier days spent together.  You are fully involved and can’t decide to take a break from that person.  Nor should you have to.  You should lean into those arguments to learn about yourself and your spouse.  Doing so will eventually lead you to a place where you give a little and take a little.  This is where you will find love.